ITS MY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!

Its been sooo long since my last post!! Its my 28th birthday & everytime its my birthday i always reflect on my life and over the past year to see whether my life is going in the direction i want it to go. And today i have realised that my life isnt going the way i want right now. I am not 100 percent happy, which is what i deserve to be, i hate my job, and i am not achieving all the goals i want to achieve. I want to be pursuing my singing, lose my excess weight and live the best life i can live and be the best person i can be. I deserve it!

I am very emotional right now, i am sad that my life isnt heading exactly where i want it to be going...on top of this the last two weeks have been difficult food wise, i havent been to my ww meeting for two weeks and i can feel that i have put on some weight. I will be going to my ww meeting this saturday, i need to get back on track, when i was losing weight it was one of the best things in my life, at least i was on my way to achieving one of my goals!

Right now i need support more than ever, i need to refocus, figure out exactly what my goals are and remember why i want to achieve my goals this may give me the boost of motivation that i am needing.

I have had alot of functions on the past two weeks, i have another two birthday parties this week, i need to start getting back on track, eating heathily, exercise more and focusing on my feelings so i can keep going down on the scales and start feeling better and better about myself in the meantime and most of all getting to my weight loss goal! That will be an exciting day for me to look forward to!!!

Renee xoxo

Realising my true worth xxx

Hi Everyone

After three weeks of not weighing in after being on a fantastic Queensland holiday, i went to my weight watchers meeting this morning and i weighed in! I was sooooo scared of what the scales were going to say! And what they said suprised me :) I had only gained 200 grams after 3 weeks of not weighing in , I was sooooooo happy because it could have been SOOOOOOOO much worse as i have been eating and drinking everything in sight ( i had a good time doing it !) also i hadnt been tracking and i hadn't been exercising as much as i usually do!!! I felt that i had lost my motivation and i felt out of control with my eating although I must have been making better choices than i thought...im not sure what happened... but i am so happy as i was expecting to gain at least half a kilo or more!!! I just wanted to share this with all my lovely friends here.

I have got my mojo back and i am as motivated and determined as ever to have a really healthy week this week! Full of good decisions and exercise. I am going to start thinking like a thin person.

take care lots of love Renee xxxooo

I lost 300 grams this week!!! YAY!

Hi everyone i lost 300 grams this week!!!YAY !!! SO i am exactly 90 kilos- i have so far lost 11.6 kilos , i hope to be an 8o's chicky babe this week :) This week when i went to the supermarket i saw a 10 kilogram bag of rice and i thought it would be good to pick it up and get a tangible feel for what 10 kilos feels like! Oh my gosh i picked it up and i didn't realise it would be soooooooo heavy..i picked it up and carried it around the supermarket with me- i can't belive i used to carry that plus more around on my body with me....my poor body- it is amazing what our bodies can cope with!!! I will never EVER let that weight get back on me again! I struggled to carry it for very long....(And i have lost 1.6kilos more than that!!!)

This week i am going to:

1) Exercise 6 out of 7 days
2)Drink at least 2 litres of water each day
3)Make healthy food choices

In the hope that all this gives me a good weight loss!!!


take care
Renee xox

I am still struggling with my Emotional Eating

Well i am week 18 into my ww journey, i have so far lost 11.3 kilos and i am so proud of myself it has been a big achievement. although i am still battling with emotional eating, today i was feeling flat - so i did eat some potato chips , after i ate them i felt bad, i felt guilty and unhappy. Why was i doin this to myself? why do we do it to ourselves? I need to start treating myself the way i treat others, with love and support and encouragement. I am my own worst enemy. I need to stop my emotional eating by first, acknowledging that i am doing it and when i am doing it, replace it with a non-food behaviour, whether it be go for a walk, read a book, do something i enjoy, that is the only way i can see myself overcoming this battle. Do others battle with the same emotional eating? What do you all do to overcome this (that's if you have overcome it). Or do we never overcome it? Is this a life long battle?

At least i can recognise when i am doing it, the thing is to stop doing it and do something more productive, even when i am doing it i say to myself, "don't sacrifice what you want for something you want right now!" gee its easier said than done. I know why i do it, i have made the connection, as a child i never knew it then , but food made me happy, it comforted me, i used it to protect myself and because of my childhood thats how i survived. I now know that in order to live a healthy and happy life i need to leave this emotional eating in the past and create for myself a new future, a future full of success and happiness and good health, i have to stop blaming the people in my past that made me feel like i wasn't worthy or accepted and use this to empower me to lead a life of full of happiness and success and life full of abundance. It was there problems that they transferred to me, it was not my fault, they were my guardians that were meant to caring for me, not making me feel left out. I realise that because of all this i have never felt worthy and it flowed into my adult life...and this which is a BIG revelation is what holds me back in every aspect of my life, i need to realise that I AM WORTHY, I AM WORTH IT! AND I DESERVE TO LIVE THE BEST LIFE I CAN AND REALISE MY FULL POTENTIAL AND ACHIEVE ALL MY DREAMS AND GOALS! It has only been the last few days where its starting to sink in that i am worth it despite my slip up today with the chips !!!

I have an appointment to get my hair done tomorrow so that will really boost my confidence!

Until next time take care

Renee xxx

I jumped a BIG hurdle this week

Hi to all my lovely friends reading this

Well its the end of week 17 for me and i lost 300 grams, the last two days have been an emotional battle for me. Yesterday i got on my scales and they told me i had gained 300 grams and i know that if i weigh myself at home on a friday morning and then i weigh myself again on a saturday morning (which i had done a couple of times) and i stay the same weight, so because my new digital scales told me that i had gained 300 grams on the friday I thought Oh no that means when i weigh in on a saturday morning at my ww meeting i will have gained. I didn't want to gain, i didnt want to ruin the extremely good efforts i have had up until now- i have been attending every ww meeting for 17 weeks, and have lost a total of 11.3 kilos- this morning i contemplated not going to my meeting because of the thought of a gain, it really messes with my mind, then i decided NO whether i gain or not, i am going, i have to make the commitment to myself to do this for myself to get to my goal weight, in the past this thought of a gain would have destroyed all my good efforts but this time around i am not going to let it stop me from achieving my ultimate goal of getting to my healthy weight range, this time i am going to do it, no excuses, Today forward i have decided that NOTHING is going to get in my way of achieving any of my goals. This is a massive light bulb moment for me, i know i can do this, and i will do this no matter what, i have to do this for myself, i deserve it and i am worth it!!! And you know what I am soooooooo glad i went to my ww meeting because i lost 300 grams....WOW im so proud of you Renee :)

take care
love and hugs
Renee

I Lost 1 Kilo this week & achieved my 10%!!! woot woot woot woot

Well week 15 on my weight watchers journey is over and I lost 1 kilo!! That is a total loss of 11 kilos!!!YAY I am very happy about that!!! Today i also achieved my 10% and got my star charm.It will be my lucky charm and help me get to goal sooner!

I am doing the happy dance!

Well my goals for this week are to be an 8o's chickybabe! Its been over 2 years since i have been in the 80's. So this will be a massive achievement for me :)

I'm feeling good

well im off to get ready to go watch a rugby league game in the rain!!!

take care
Love & hugs Renee xox

I weighed in this morning!

Well week 14 is over and week 15 of my weight watchers journey has just begun. I stayed the same this week which i am very happy about as i was sooooooo scared that i would gain! Well today is a new day, and i am going to make a fresh start. Today's ww meeting was about motivation, what motivates us. I found it very refreshing as i really need motivating! Well my steps in keeping myself motivated are :

1) I am going to find a picture of what i want my body to look like at 75 kilos and stick it on the fridge with a picture of me now so that i can visualise what i will look like at that weight, which is my goal weight. I think this will be very motivating for me, every time i open the fridge i will have the reminder of what my goal is, which will keep me focused on the goal. I have realised though that I need to enjoy the journey in getting to my goal, so far i have learnt sooooo much and i know i will learn so much more which will give me all the tools needed to keep my weight off for life and to maintain myself within my healthy weight range! ITS NEVER GOING TO GET A CHANCE TO GET BACK ON TO MY BODY! WOW i cant wait to get to goal!!!

2) I am also going to get out a pair of jeans from my wardrobe that are currently to tight, and each week i am going to try them on, so that as the weeks go by, i will soon be able to comfortably fit into them! YAY - I am going to try and imagine how i will feel when i will be able to comfortably get into those jeans!! WOW that will be exciting!

take care and i will talk to you all soon

Love Renee xox

Week 14- Last week's weigh in- Being 91.6kilos

Well silly me i forgot to post last saturdaythe 7th of April 2007, sometimes its hard to get around to posting but i do want to keep it up to date to keep myself accountable! Last week i stayed the same weight being 91.6 kilos, two days leading up to my saturday weigh in i went through a box of 300 gram cadbury favourites with my boyfriend's help of course!!!! I didn't eat them all on my own but it would have had an affect on my weight staying the same! I was ok with it staying the same, so long as i dont gain i am happy!!! Although i would like to be getting to my mini goals a bit quicker!

I also wanted to discuss being 91.6kilos, i feel that being in the early nineties i get a bit complacent and scared its like being at the edge of a mountain and i just need to push myself that little bit further in order to absail down the side of the mountain. I feel like i haven't been in the 80's for at least a year and it seems a bit like a dream and a bit scary....im not sure why but around this weight i have noticed not only now but in the past i start sabotaging my weight loss efforts, its like i am subconsciously scared of going back into the 80's even though i really really REALLY want to get into the 80's then into the 70's and then to my goal weight! What is happening to me?? why do i sabotage my own weight loss efforts? why am i scared? It sounds so silly, but its what is happening to me at the moment. Has anyone else had this happen to them?

Well tomorrow being Saturday the 14th of April is my next weigh in, I am soooooooooooo scared that i wont lose only because of my self-sabotaging efforts this week, coupled with a week of going way over my points!!! Oh no....please please please i want to lose at my weight loss meeting tomorrow!!! I have been trying to rectify my overeating with exercise and trying to make healthy choices, i am still going to my meeting even though i am so so scared of gaining!!! I have to pick myself up , dust myself off and keep trying, i think because i am at this stage of self-sabotaging i may have to try something new..get some fun & excitement back into my life and into my exercise routine and really vary my foods so that i dont get bored and look for chips and lollies to eat!! I find tasty foods make me feel fuller for longer!

Until i post again, take care of yourselves, as i will be working hard at trying to take better care of myself

love you all

Love Renee xxx

Sat 31st March 2007-End of week 12 & 10 kilos OFF ! YAY!

I weighed in on Saturday morning and i had lost 1.2kilos!!! woooooo hooooo i was so happy as that means i have lost a grand total of 10 kilos in 12 weeks :)

I am nearly at the top of my mountain, i have decided that the top of the mountain is my half way goal, which is 13.3kilos and the bottom of the mountain is me at goal- 75 kilos !!! I found that this is the best way for me to visualise my weight loss journey, thinking about the bigger goal at those times when you question whether its all worth it, now i will have to focus and learn to visualise myself at goal, i think this will definitely will be another tool which will help me in my weight loss journey. It may even help me to get to my goal sooner :)

The last twelve weeks haven't been easy, i have been trying to work through my emotional eating, and in doing that i have been trying to take better care of myself. I am realising that i deserve it! I deserve to have a healthy sexy body which i can be proud of !!! I have learnt that exercise is something that is good for you and is something you do for yourself,which is another way of taking care of yourself. i think this is a bit of a revelation for me, i have always exercised but i have always thought of it as something i have to do, not something i want to do! I have also learnt that its how you perceive things that change the way you think and feel about those things! If it changes the way you think about those things it changes the way you act on those things! That is BIG! a BIG revelation for me!

Well im now 3 days into week 13 and i feel more in control and i feel better about myself knowing that i am changing my future, i am leading a heathier life and i am starting to live instead of existing! i tell you being over weight stops you from doing sooooooooo many things that you want in your life....i am glad i am on this journey to a better life.

Im 91.6 kilos and this week i will achieve my 10% goal which is 90.9kilos, i also want to be an 80's girl...... gee that would be soooooooo good, i havent been in the 80's for at least a year....

until next time, take care of yourselves, i know i will be working at taking better care of myself

Love Renee xxxooo

PS-- i will put up a pic when my bf gets home :)

I LOVE CAREBEARS HOW CUTE IS THIS!

This is to all my friends- i love you :)

BEAUTIFUL BERRIE :)

Berrie sent me this lovely picture of a beautiful woman with my name on it!!! It must be ME! She must think im beautiful :) I am of course! :)

I haven't made a post of it yet BUT last tuesday i meet up with the lovely Berrie, Helen and Trace. We had such a great day followed by a wonderful lunch we just talked NON-STOP :) it was wonderful!!!

Yesterday's weigh in :)

Well yesterday morning i went off to my weight watchers meeting , i was worried about weighing in as i had had two times during the week where i emotionally overate! I jumped on the scales and i had lost .1 ! YAY it was a loss, not as big a loss as i was hoping for! i felt disappointed and happy at the same time, i was disappointed as i had aimed for a bigger loss this week but due to the rough week i had, that didnt happen and i also wanted to be 88 kilos to meet my 3rd mini goal :( I was happy because it was a loss and not a gain! I have decided that this week is a new week, today is a new day and i am going to put in a really good effort this week! I will get to my 88 kilos goal by easter, well that is my plan!!!!! Its two weeks away and i will need to lose 4.8kilos by then.....so i am going to think positively and act positively and see how i go! i can only do the best that i can!!!

My goals for this week are to:

1. Keep active - walk 6 days a week for at least one hour
2. Do my taebo dvd twice in the week that goes for 50 mins each time (and really makes me sweat!)
3. Keep tracking
4. Look for work- this will keep me busy
5. Have fun and be happy :)

thanks to all those who love and support me

take care

Love Renee xox

SELF ESTEEM BOOST!!! (NOT BOOST BAR!!!yum)

I have some exciting news to share...last night when giving my darling bf a hug he said to me that he can notice that i have lost weight as he said that he has less to hold on to- grabbing the sides of my waist & stomach- Well first i thought s*** how fat was i???How come he didnt tell me then i had too much to hang on too! Then i thought hang on, he is being sweet, what a sweet heart....i will take that as a BIG compliment!!! i cant wait till im so fit and slim that there will be no fat rolls AT ALL to hold on too :)

And on top of that i forgot to tell you all... more good news..yesterday whilst chatting to a friend on the footpath outside my ww meeting a group of 4 or 5 guys came past in a car -tooting and yelling out wooooo hoooooo my friend ttold me well Renee they must of been tooting at you because im an old duck (she is in her 60's) she is so lovely ! I felt sooooooo good to know that "i've still got it" hehe Gee that is the best self-esteem boost EVER!!! Cant wait for that to happen again and again and again ...LOL Anything for a boost of the self-esteem!!

Love the self esteem boosts...they help me in my journey
take care
Renee xxxooo

WEIGH IN TODAY :)

This morning i weighed in at my ww meeting and I LOST .2!!! YAY TO ME! That is now a total of 8.7 kilos in 10 weight loss weeks!!! I was hoping for a big loss as i want to get to my easter goal weight of 88 kilos i know i will get close to it though i may not reach it!! I hope to though :)
This week has been a bit different to normal because i finished study at the end of last year and i am sick of being home!!! The story is that once i finished study i decided to take time off to have a holiday and figure out what i want to do but since that time i havent been able to go anywhere as my bf got a new job and now have lost my travel buddy..i have been stuck at home and i am getting so so so BORED! I am so used to my mind being kept busy with study that i am going out of my mind with boredom..i can only visit so many people, and clean and cook so much until you get sick of it!!! Shopping is great but you even get sick of doing that ...so this week has been hard for me due to the boredom factor...i am looking for work but finding it hard to find a good job for the industry i am qualified in! I am looking for other jobs but the other jobs cannot pay me the same as what i could get in my field!!! Anyway i am trying to keep positive , each time i lose weight i feel better and better about myself and this keeps me going! I live for saturdays at the moment! I cant wait to have more in my life :)

Until next time take care

All my love Renee xxxooo

I have been tagged!!!

Ok Shelley has tagged me and now i am obliged to reveal 5 facts about myself!!!!! Here goes.....



1. When I was 5 years old i lived in Cairns for a year, i was a self taught excellent swimmer and in that time i saved my cousin from drowning in our pool who was also 4 or 5 years of age and i saved a little austrian girl from drowning who was 2 or 3 years old.... *What an amazing 5 year old !!!!




2. I love sports, i love watching swimming, olympic diving, footy, ice hockey and ice skating & skiing & Due to my darling bf i have gained a love for rugby league!!! (its a good perve too!) I love participating as much as i can too! The more weight i lose the more i seem to be participating in life! That is such a good thing!!!



3. I have a keen interest in property investment and property design. I love reading about it, learning about it and doing it! :) I love that show on foxtel called "Australian Sandcastles" the houses on that show are designed by architects and best of all they are on or by the beach!! Thats what my dream house will be! I love the beach!

4. ****I love to ****

5. Not many people know this but i have been singing since i was ten years young along with this i have been writing songs and poetry and my ultimate dream career choice would be to make a career out of singing and song writing !!!! I love music and i am inspired by so many other singers/songwriters!


Gee these blogs really make us expose all our secrets and vulnerabilites to the world!!!!

My hair again!

I just realised that its hard to see the foils in my hair so this shot is of the top of my head for everyone to see!

Got my hair done :) Feeling good!

Sweeten Up Your Myspace
MySpaceSugar.com

Thursday 8th March 2007

Today i got my hair done! YAY to me...it made me feel soooooooooooo good..my hair was starting to fade! I needed it done! I had a chocolate brown colour all over before and NOW i have my chocolate brown along with natural blonde/caramel foils..i had a bit chopped off the length as well :) ...LOOK AT MOI....LOOK AT MOI ...hehe

My first blog entry....

I have been inspired by my other blogger friends to join them and be a blogger too :) I thought it would be a fantastic way to track my weight loss journey...a great way to see the new me emerging. Like a butterfly i am spreading my wings getting ready to fly! Watch me !

I started my ww journey on Saturday 6th of January 2007, i weighed in at 101.6 kilos , a combination of already having alittle weight to lose coupled with ALOT of christmas parties and other functions leading up to christmas lead to this happening! OMG i cant believe i let myself get so fat...i will never be that weight again! Its been eight weeks and i am 7.8 kilos lighter ..YAY to me.. i am really proud of myself, the more weight i lose the happier i feel and the more i start loving myself again... I am never going to treat my body so badly again....i deserve better than that! My body is a temple and i am going to protect and love it! I AM WORTH IT!

So far my weight loss journey has been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster ride! My emotions have never been so over the place!!!! I have had many highs and lows...hopefully the lows will decrease and the high's increase with each weight loss.

take care everyone
Love Renee xox

Renee's Rollercoaster Ride from Fat to Very Fit